Copyright Xxavier Ed ward Carter @2013I strive to be humble, lest I stum bleAll rights reserved
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the tiny shadows moved the office building sstaff on the top floor jump out of the windows in panic or was it just theweek ago, you click on the stereo, Kaite and Jane paw at your youngestsister's puppy, Wafer, ams between the pair, rolls of skin stretch wide and fissures in his fuzzyopography Their hands run over the waves as Wafer plays pussycat, yourdog, Oreo, lies sleeping across the roomThis is fucking terrible, Stempy "Rens body splayedacross the floor shecracks your toes, roast beef, a high snap going off next to her ear
was talking about you know RenWanna see a dead body? "Kaite lets the elephant in the room slip outStempy has a graveyard on her doorstep " RenWhere are wBarty? RenHe said he buried the guns around herWhy are we doing this? Kaite, Shit is so fucked up you know that, Janet's not our---"a
You dont pay attention do you? RenYbdyt thoheart is in the package Kaite and Jane puff frantically at their cigarettes,bviouslyexhales The four of you traded him like currency without really asking theextent of what he would do when you were out of his presence You heardhispers almost immediately after You listen to hands digging into looseFound it,Ren pulls a blackfrom the earth There is a letter in hereShe reads it off, lyrics you'd heard before Looking up at the moon floatingfull in the sky, you hear footsteps through the bushea chronstol shethrough the biWe can see you, Barty, the chorus of voices makes itself heard You havebeen followed
Your eyes dart between the shaded faces of your friends Youstep forward into the light a few paces Cigarette lit, you wait Where is yourpussy cat, B?"Five of theognize the speaker from a party whereyou were dressed as a witch and your pussy cat stole a broom from the partyfor you to ride home on while the speaker shouted after the gang The girlsmove into the shadows around youraround about Snoopy and robert?londe sister if she hadfucking the gym teacher you would have knowAh that cunt? It's like someone chewed gum and hung it from a nail Therere high fives from the group, a different voice So where is your nigger
lskd get tired of yoass after a while " The voice steps closer and flash You dont flinch, blackthrough the moonlightonto the boy next in line other boys turn their backs to flee meet Ren clutching the chrome pistogunshot, another shadeYou kick the lastree stand ing in the back of the knees dropping them to the ground Yograb living boy two by the hair Your eyes on Ren looking down on herhandy work, oozing darkaking from the entry and exit woundsYou can see all of them clearly now, the clouds part for the moon to viewYou hold hair to the scalpnk
You drop a tuft from a boys shakinghead, sobs come out of his mouth in a loud panic and urine puddles on theground around their feet You wrap an arm around the shoulder of yourvictims Hyenas laughing from the dark, Kaite and jane's cigarettes at aconstant cherry red glow through the bushes, their inhales and exhalesaudibleWhat are we going to do, Stempy? Ren drops down on the chest of the firstboy she shot, his death face visible, mouth agape not his mouth, his cheek isblown out and the hole in his head gave a clear view of what was on hismind Ren had the higher ground, the bullet coming down through the sideof his hed out of his face You hush the whimpering boy you are holdingDon't, he flinches when your hand moves to the sidehis ear and stand over himJesus, do you only eat garlic and asparagus? " Ren's boot to the face of boythree of three so he falls into theof skull and brain left over from hisdats on your stomach? Yto themiddleman, Ren trains the gun on the face-down boy, loud sobs and gurglesbubble up from the earth What else is in thYou are a shark in the
water, Ren tossing chum from the side of the boat, a frenzy creeping up yourback The last three will never see their families again cheshire grinface, sad, this has always been thesuicide to bring it out of you Your teeth glint back from a pool forminglicles The clink of metal on metal as Ren pullsblade from the satchel, rope nextThats it, Ren is ultra-serious, no poker face as to how livid sheScalpel, you call hand out, making sure to get eye contact and bring ymwhere her mind is wandering She smiles back at youDon' t Pleasee went to primary together, it's me derbs the gurgledrowning in coughs of vomit pooling, the smell sickly sweetPick your head up, you rap your fingers on his lower back You press theknife tight between his ear and jaw line in the event he is to come upswinging
"Now, would be about fucking time "You press hard drawingblood from the back of his ear his handinto fists, screamwaves"What are you doing? "You laugh a little as he brings himself up fromthe muck, face streaked and dripping"Now doesn't that feel better? "Youvoice reaches high to match the sick smell with a cartoonish bubble and popYou release your quarry pushing Devin, the middle child, over towards thefirst in line focuIr attention on the sick ylat on your heels, face toface, his eyes down, you hold the blade for him to sesorry, a sob comes from his mouth, snot bubble popping You changeitions, everything gathered in your heels, you shift your weight forwardThe knife slips through the first layers of skin on his neck, deeper, leverage,
passing through windpipe, Adams apple splitvoice bflapping with the escaping air from his lungs, your full force splitting him tothe spinal column Your arm painted in black blood, your skin slick andshining, Kaite and jane come forward arms laced through one anothersngle cigarette between the pair, its small cherry calm, they are giddy andggling between themselvesGod, gossiping hens Can you light me a cigarette, Ren? My hands are wWe're not talking to you, Barty, you're mean Jane scratches your scalp asflame flicks on then off in front of Kaite's face Devin stammers in shock, thether boy now chins up, cursing under his breathEⅹCuseKaite leans across relholding her pistol toward thefaces of her prey handing you a cigarettCrazy fucking sluts, I like that, his mouth widening into shit eating mugPut it in my mouth
You puff tuning out the young manSo what brought you over to the dark side? And hey, you're the sour pussiesPass me the ropeJust two, "Jane,check it out "The lighter sparks again, her rolled sleevesDidnt hurt either, Kaite pulls up her shirt, she has another gun tucked intoer waistband and a ring of burns circling her left nipple The first boyquirms forward Ren tosses the lasso to you, Kaite pulls the gun from herwaist, her shirt back down to its normal place She holds her arm out steady
first boy's face explodes, his body folds, a leaking ice cream scoop shapey aand pulls the trigger, blowback almost throwing the gun from her hand tImass of boneKaite's got a cannon, Kaite' s got a cannon " Janeseat amongst the girls on the body boards, excess rope wrapped arow? aWOwww, Kaite rubs her shoulder and tosses the gun at your feet You tie theybind them tight with a long line left trailing between the legs, you take yoyour forearmDevin, Janeust want to go home DevinDavin, Ren You remember this boy
Your last year in public school beforehave come out here if you want to go home nowDevin, dont be sad, " you brush the tears from his cheek, "Ive still got thestuffed cate me, you remembeer cat? His head bobs on hshoulders Click Jane's revolver hammer locking in The hollow exit woundsmokes from the blast Okay that was really loud Weve got temany hands make light worlKaite, aren't you part Mexican? "Ren stands up surveying the leftovers, Janed Kaite line up their kills side by side You use your cell phone as flashlightnaging through the pockets of the dead Lots of cash, just like
everyone else What better way to get what you want right when you wantit? Four large knots of cash bound in rub ber bands on the body, wallet, plusell phkahn Kaite chimesknew this was Grant, you read the ID He dated one of the girls in yourfreshman house at university and had even tried to wrangle you into athreesome You werent nearly as drunk as you let on at the time and hisgirlfriend was taking heavy doses of penicillin Ren mimics your knotsaround the ankles of number one and number twoddid you know that? "Next body,knotshundreds, car keys, stun gun, small baggy of crystallized something, Grant'brother, another five wads of cash, house key card, baby pistol and tin in hWhen did this happen? Devins body is void of money but held severalndod house keelectronic lock on the hcaught him putting Sling in Melissa robert 's drink, i don t even likethat cunt He knocked me out in the parking lot of that party last month, youknow the one, Bla
ck House PartyRenUm, why didn't I know about this? You move Kaite aside, she is strugglingwith the loops, ten thousand dollars, and a pack of needlesof plasticD and his own Robert Patterson, you'd heard the name before Hepimped some of the kids from the outlands, young boys, older women, thehousewife market is booming Kaite kisses you on the cheek
Table of contentsapter3Chapter 5Chapter 7Chapter 10CapterChapter 12ChapterapterapterChapter
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PrologueI dont want to end it like this I dont think there is any other way He leansgoodbye kiss You turn away, eyes down, half smiling youhuckle at his effort to soothe you this lips same as always anddown to your feet You blink, tears roll down your face You shake your headlaughing off the sobs filling your chest You kiss him on the lips, fill it withraps his arms around your waist
You stand firm and accepts time He nuzzles his face against the black dots freckling under yourelids You can feel the tiny puddles of ink blot bhead on his shoulder, chin digging into the space between collarbone anback, your arms grip hard around his torso Dont cry It's bad luckFor who? You squeeze harder, Please, you'll never see me again, muddyrivers pour down your face as you force eye contact Your chest pressed intohis, heartbeat pounds frantic for a way to make him stayStop it you knats not true, he breaks the gaze leaning back anddropping his hands "I cant win with you, can I? "He sits down, his fdangling off of the platformI just dont understand why you're doing this, I mean we have a good thinggoing dont we? You just want to kill it? Tell me, what did I do? "You kick himin the back hard enough to hurt, "I told you l don' t care abeou didnt do anything, I told you When I wasn't having fun anymore, Idlet
So this is how you fucking let me know? "You slap the back of his head andtake a seat next to him You are less resolved the first stage of grief comingtoke its bking treat ywouldnt be there for me, I don 't know what the fuck I was thinking when Igirl You take the pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket, then fondle aYou dont even knoLox, he laughs breaking the stone on his faceinto something you carback down into theough his pants pockets for the lightound it, you squeeze his dick hard You let go and pull out the lighterspark the flame to light the paper between your lips, you offer him orI dont have to tell you they 'll fucking kill you, he takes the pack from you,thts thee pack in yoket he lies bconcrete He tugs your ear
You fall back, your head on his chest staring upinto the night sky not remembering the last time you did this I wasnt lyingwant you to know that When I told you l loved you, I mean, I' m unhingedaccording to Doctor Feel Good, but what the fuck does he know I knoe you i never wanted to work fould for you " He fingeo awhatever you say, okie dokie I cant do this for you though, you' ve gotta go itYou really are a dick head, you know? I mean, I fucked you once, then Ifucked you again, and again, you're having flashbacks, your hand smashinga hole in his bedroom wall, laughing, collapsing in sweaty heaps, that wawhen you fell in loveHe laughId have had a kid with you on accident
Not on purpose? What did you think? 'Girl just loves her cream piesomething like that, his voice is like honeyGod, don't joke about that, you bite your lip You want to know a secret?You aborted my love child, I knew it, you dirtyboth of you laughingyou kiss him on the mouth catching him off guardMoths flicker around the glow of the station light You roll over onto hchest, legs mounted over his, your tongue deep in his mouth Breath heavyand heartbeats quicken he lifts your shirt abhead, no bunderneath, your nipples stand as tiny mind erasers He sits up to meet youace to face Your thighs perch perfectly over his waist, something said askirt was a good idd your nipplyou work his zipper open and pop the top button of his pants, pull yourpanties to the side and slip him inside of you, rock back slowly moving yourhips deep onto his " You're my fucking hero
" The buttons on his shirt popopen easily, one hand behind his head and you bounce up and down, both ofyou watching each other Your eyes catch, he holds a handful of your hairmoving your face into his Your head slips out of his grip to one side of hisace,you let out a little whimper when he pushes inside You curse as heshifts to full thrusts, louder till screams and God spills out Your musclesclenched around him, "Don' t stop You bite down into his lip and pull histhe sides of hick pressing tight to your sides holding steady You cant, hot rushstreaming out of you, knees collapse and seize around him You sit panting,make up smeared and dripping He holds you with one arm on the small ofyour back Chest to chest you count your beats per minute down to resting
flforehead onto his brow and give him a little nibble on the cheekove it when you do that, it takes all the work out of it for me You slapes through thety station Yflexing again, knocking him over, you planthand firmly onto hissternum and grind him into the stations earth You pin one of his handsdown, leaving the other free to feel theyour skin When he comeyou clench hardest, squeezing the life from himks up into your eyesk glassy orbs well your tears,his own in your smeared makeup on his face With shirt hanging from yourhand he wraps his jacket over your shoulders You stuff your wallet into hispants pocket Bernal Flats 25th Horess the train floats over the tradsnaking its way from coast to coast,at MAg ZeROonce per round trof the Flats It was the greatest thing to happen on themanifest destiny
Formally, this berg in the salt flats was home to a fringeector of society, agrarians, engineers, and hermits Within thirty years, theemisphere tying project wrapped its arms across the country andSouth america with BF at the heart of the tracks You can cross from pole tpole in the west and never reach the ocean The displaced earth from theonstruction was put to use in the republics of the southern hemisphere thets in centeryitake you anywhere pumping the life blood into the veins of the nationgoing to miss you, Barty, " he kisses you on the lips, you should protectourself i biHarlord's thatwhile Youve always been my favorite He jumps from the platform into thecoming lights No pul p a blinding flash makes you shade your eyes, themoment in slow motion Lightning arching from the tracks, he is untouched
in the magnetic field, suspended in air as his body is torn apart Streakingbolts of lightning swarm over his chest consuming the rapidly fragmentingstructure of the male figure The event reaches up towards his face, youreyes meet in these last moments and in an instant the mass of onyx coloreditself taking itsthe passing locomotive blows your hair into the air leaving it swept upagainst the night sky The train moves onward, no screeching breakstwitch denoting a deceleration from its contact with his body, just lights in ablur moving out of sight towards the main station of the flatsYou walk home, your bike abandoned at the station side by side with hisnto your room, you lock the door and undress You pick up earrings on thefloor making your wbathroom mYou wash the nightyour skin, your dog circles your feet
You rub his fuzzy head and smileBathu sit on the edge of the tub Yjewelry he had given you, chains rattle around your neck, the holes in yourears filled, rings on your fingers clink against the edge of the raised tub asyou step over into the hot water Both feet in, you keep your knees up andslip under
Chapter 1hey make me look like Chung lei, Ren winds buns into her hairYour thighs arent big enough to be Chung Lei, you watch the ceYeah, you used to be like, coke white "JaneGoddamn it, do not talk about coke right now, pleaseWhy not? There is a full moon out This girl keeps texting me, wanting to gohalf on eight balls " JaneGet off of your phone, Kaite! "RenYou are one of four young women lying on the floor of the drawing room ofyour family home Your parents and sisters are gone on a trip visiting youred grandmother, it,'s an excuse for your sisters to play socialite at aperformance of Titus Andronicus, and your brother is AWOL The televisionckers in the background mute
Images of a massive celebrity salvage effog on an island nation where your family usedvacation come across the screen Your home sits back from the garden linethe property at the end of a long driveway snaking through a thick canopyup to the perfect lawn You remember visiting your father on business for arwards ceremony, the middle school years, and your pageboy haircut Atppingentrees You snuck out of the hotel on the evenings while your parents drankwith the backers of MAG ZERO Lightning bugs swarmed in the courtyard,you trained your binoculars on the crest of a distant volcano and watched